This Librarian Has Moxie—and Epoxy, and a glue gun, a nail
gun, a hammer, wrenches in various sundry sizes, pliers—snub nose and needle
nose---ha ha! This librarian knows the difference and other
motley tool thingies and doo dads
to fix “stuff”
I bet you know the feeling: book shelf broken. You call your
custodian who assures you he will fix it. It stays broken. After repeatedly
reminding the custodian, you move the shelf out of the way off to a corner
somewhere. It stays broken. You wait. It waits.
A chair breaks. You pick up the pieces and move it off to a
corner somewhere. You notify your custodian. It stays broken. You wait. It
waits.
Upholstery comes loose on a couch. You ask if the custodian
can tack it back up or nail it. He assures you he will do so. It stays loose.
It gets worse. Now the entire bottom of the couch is on the floor under the
couch. You wait. It waits.
A wheel comes off a rolling cart that holds rolls of butcher
paper. The bolt which attached the wheel to the cart is nowhere to be found,
having magically vanished off the face of the earth. You contact the custodian.
He assures you he has a bolt that will fit. He assures you the wheel will be
attached. The next day, the wheel is attached, but there is no bolt. Every time
the cart is moved, the wheel comes off.
How hard can it be to attach a bolt, fix a rocking chair,
put up a book shelf and re-attach the lining of a couch? The librarian wonders.
“I will wait no more!” she declares valiantly.
Enough! The librarian thinks, “I have a Master’s degree
after all. Surely, I can use simple tools and repair these things myself.”
Well, this librarian had had enough, so she grabs the wheel
off the rolling cart and gets in her trusty truck and drives over to Ace
Hardware where she vows to get
everything she needs to repair “stuff.”
The hardware store manager beamed from ear to ear. He showed
me hundreds of bolts.
“No,” I say. “I only need the one that fixes this wheel.” I brandish the pesky wheel.
“Well,” he says, carefully examining it as if it were the Holy
Grail and shaking his head, “This shaft has suffered extreme damage. You’re
going to need more than just a bolt”
He goes on to say how I will need a super-duper bolt with an
extra special fancy washer and I’ll have
to get channel locks and big, brawny men to attach the wheel—they will need
super muscle strength that I obviously don’t have.
“No, I say. “It’s for a simple cart. I don’t need it to last
until eternity.”
He demonstrates how to attach a bolt. Sheesh, is he even
serious?
I assure him that I am a librarian and perfectly capable of
using simple tools. He asks if I have a wrench. I assure him that I have both standard
and metric wrenches. Ah, a newfound bond is formed. I am speaking his language
now.
This guy is seriously overdoing a simple fix. 45 cents buys a simple bolt and this
librarian is now armed and dangerous.
I attacked the garage at home, grabbing the nail gun, wood
glue, various nails, a hammer, a couple of wrenches and a roll of duck tape for
good measure. You can use it for anything, right?
The next morning, after a couple hours of tacking, nailing, hammering
and hot glue-ing , the library is a happy place again.
This librarian has learned her lesson: why wait for big,
brawny men sporting channel locks when a librarian with moxie and epoxy can get-ter
done! ?
Disclaimer: This post was written for humorous purposes only. The names have been changed to protect the innocent and the not-so innocent.
Before:
And after the Librarian to the Rescue With Moxie and Epoxy, etc.
